Top 7 Reasons to Book One of These OBX Officiants

The main reason you would ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding is because they know you, which would make the ceremony very meaningful. We completely understand the impulse and have definitely seen it work a time or two, but, in general, there is a lot that an experienced, professional officiant does that a friend or family member wouldn’t know how to do. I recently saw an article about this topic by Maria Northcott (a seasoned wedding officiant in Maine) and thought I would mesh some of her thoughts with my own in this blog. I hope you’ll find the following to be helpful as you weigh the pros and cons of such an important decision.

Photo by Biff Jennings, Shooters at the Beach

#7….. WELCOMING AND ENGAGING

With a warm and genuine welcome, your professional officiant sets the tone for your entire wedding day. Your guests will feel included by the way your local Outer Banks officiant draws them into the ceremony. With eye contact, voice control, and experience performing ceremonies, your OBX professional officiant will engage your guests and make them feel part of the proceedings, as opposed to just passive observers. How cool if they would all leave sensing they were truly part of your Big Day.

#6….. IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU, NOT ABOUT THE OFFICIANT

This is a tricky one. When a friend performs the ceremony – and this happens a lot – they sometimes crack ‘inside’ jokes and tell stories that are often more about themselves. While this can be entertaining, really the right time to tell these stories is in a toast during the reception, not during a meaningful moment like the ceremony. It’s also common for a friend to become overly emotional and unable to keep presenting. While this can be a sweet moment, it once again takes the focus away from the wedding couple and puts it onto the friend. As a professional officiant, we understand that we need to be a visible part of your ceremony and simultaneously not make it about us. We know how to balance being part of the ceremony, but ensuring it’s about you from start to finish.

#5….. BEING YOUR ADVOCATE AND MANAGING AWKWARD FAMILY DYNAMICS

Not all families get along. And, even some families who do get along get agitated when it comes to a wedding. They want to see certain things happen, maybe things that they didn’t do at their wedding. Or they have ideas that just don’t match up with what you and your fiancè want to do. A professional OBX officiant is adept at managing unique family dynamics. More importantly, we can be an advocate for your vision and your wishes as they pertain to the ceremony. Basically, what I’m saying is, we can be the “bad guy” and take the pressure off of you, if you’re at odds with a family member about any part of the ceremony. We can protect and support you. Years ago I was literally two minutes from walking down the aisle and the bride’s parents pulled me aside and said, “Rev. Jay, we just want you to know that we are against this union.” No doubt it was very awkward and uncomfortable (for them and me!), but I found a way to professionally ‘hear’ them and yet still stay true to my two clients and got them married. This would be one of those potentially unfair positions to put a friend or family member officiant into.

Photo by Justin Hankins Photography

#4….. CEREMONY TREASURE CHEST OF BEACH WEDDING RESOURCES

Over the years, your professional OBX officiant has collected special readings, unique vow options, creative unity rituals (like the ‘Sand Ceremony’, ‘Wine Box’, etc.), meaningful ring exchange language and other wonderful ideas for customizing and personalizing your ceremony. They have collected these wonderful nuggets of vows, readings, special elements, and options which will be readily at your access so that every part of your ceremony will be personalized to fit the two of you. And if you come up with something that your professional OBX officiant isn’t familiar with, they will absolutely be flexible and help you pull it off with excellence.

#3….. PEACE OF MIND PREDICTABILITY

During these last 18 years I’ve received many inquiries where the couple says their friend or family member, who agreed to be their officiant, couldn’t do it anymore for one reason or another. It’s very sad and stressful for the couple when this happens; as if they need any additional stress during the process of planning their wedding! A professional Outer Banks officiant would never back out on you at the last minute, and if they do end up having a major emergency, they will have a well-prepared back-up plan so you’re not left in the lurch. Part of being professional means being prompt, responsive and predictable. You’re putting some amazing trust in us and we take that seriously.

Photo by Rich, Coleman Shots

#2….. KNOWS AND IS VERY FAMILIAR WITH YOUR OBX VENDOR TEAM

There’s a very good chance your professional OBX officiant knows your photographer, videographer, wedding planner, site coordinator, DJ, caterer, bakery, florist, etc. etc. . We team together all the time and love to make each other look good on this island. To ensure a smoothly run event, the entire team needs to be in communication. It’s unlikely that a friend or family officiant will be in communication with the entire ceremony vendor team or even know what they need to know or what they need to tell the other vendors. A professional wedding officiant, on the other hand, communicates and collaborates with your other wedding pros to make sure the ceremony unfolds seamlessly. I can’t stress enough the importance of communication when it comes to the ceremony. It may not seem like it, but there are many moving parts, and communication will be golden to secure a day you’ll always treasure.

#1….. YEARS OF PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

And finally, the number one reason to hire a professional OBX wedding officiant is because we have years of experience. Our experience in creative writing brings your ceremony to life. Our experience performing personalized ceremonies ensures your guests won’t be bored. Our experience guiding our couples through the process of getting married means you have a trusted source for information, reassurance, and support. More specifically, a professional Outer Banks wedding officiant knows exactly what he or she needs to do to help the photographer capture the perfect photo, like stepping aside for the kiss. We remember to ask your guests to take their seats (one of the most common rookie mistakes). Our public speaking skills keep your guests’ attention on a moment they’ll never forget. And, most importantly we know just when to put a hand on your back for comfort; just when to whisper a word of encouragement and to take a deep breath; just when to laugh and let go of the “script” and just when to bring it back. Like in any profession, the nuances of what a skilled and seasoned wedding officiant does are too numerous to mention, and actually hard to explain. Again, all of this will bring you much needed ‘peace of mind’.

Photo by Justin Hankins Photography

In closing, be assured that working with a professional OBX wedding officiant allows your friends and family to sit back, relax and enjoy the day without any added stress. What a great gift to them. My name is Rev. Jay Bowman and I would be honored to bring my very best to your wedding, but I’m not the only wedding officiant on the Outer Banks. Some other officiants that I either know really well or have heard good things about through local wedding Planners are Tony Joseph (idoobx.com), Barbara Mulford (myobxofficiant.com), Scott Williams (revscottwilliams.com), and Cynthia O’Neil (ceremonybycynthia.com). You’ve got one shot at this big life moment, so make it count. Wishing you all the very best!